About Because of His Heart​

 

Because of His Heart shifts location between New York and Toronto. The plot centers on Erica Seames, her work as a physician and her marriage to reporter, Charles Portland. The plot is revealed in her blog, “Mother-Wife” which begins accurately describing her life, but deteriorates into fantasy as her experience and imagination diverge.

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Psychiatrist, Nathan Milo, is the malevolent character at the center of the drama. This beloved aesthete does not act with physical force but touches the soul. Milo’s junior partner, Jaye Stevens, must discover the truth, while her romantic partner, Philip Stroud, becomes the quiet hero. Constable John Deuter, though often ignored, struggles to understand and support Erica. Conflicts lie in the adjoined themes of domestic abuse and psychological malpractice.

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Within the drama there is humor, conflicted sexuality and a pivotal shooting scene. Erica endures ever-growing hardships but finally survives because of her inner strength. While many readers will race through to the conclusion, careful readers will be rewarded.

An examination of abuse in marriage was the initial idea behind my writing Because of His Heart. I believe that the characters will provoke intense and varied opinions. Readers over 30 may find the conflicts particularly affecting.

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My goal is to present good people in conflict. Despite true suffering, brought on by immoral actions, poor choices and tragic misunderstanding, I intend a benevolent world-view. I consider this novel closer to a comedy than a tragedy.

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​About me:        

 

I was a member of the Tafelmusik Orchestra, Toronto, for over thirty-five years. At first I was the principle second violin, then a section player and occasionally a violist. Tafelmusik and the Lumieres Quartet were the core of my performance career in music.

 

As a bowmaker, I have made over 500 historical bows for string instruments over the years, mostly copies of 17th and 18th century surviving examples. My bowmaker website is: www.historicalbows.com

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I married Elena in 2005. We have two grown children. These three are my beloved inspiration.

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The Characters: (potential spoilers for new readers)

At one point, early on, Erica Seames describes her anonymous web postings:

“Yes, it’s a real thing, a sort of blog that I write, you know, online, ‘Mother-Wife,’ it’s called. No one is identified, but I can explore and dream. It’s mostly for me, but there are quite a few clicks, someone is reading it. I’m not really clear on the appeal, why anyone would want to share my musings. It’s proud, elitist, sometimes playful, not the sort of thing I would expect to attract most folks, the light and dark... It’s my indulgence, my story in passing, infused with recondite allusions, gestures to the past century, old art; but like a modern history text, a little truth, a bit of me…”  Yes, this is the author asserting himself through the text. In fact, Erica is the main character, and also the one to whom I can most relate. It was easier to create female personalities as I didn’t have to be concerned that they would directly reflect on me. Also, John Deuter, Charles Portland, Dale Jeffer and Philip Stroud, while nominally sympathetic, are not like me, in character or appearance. Problem solved.

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“Why does Erica have to go through such intense distress and critical life experiences?”

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The easy explanation is that pain and conflicts are what compel a reader to continue, seeking resolution. Such is the nature of fiction. I should mention that some readers may not be comfortable with Erica’s trials. This should serve as a warning that serious, often painful, dark issues are at the core of Because of His Heart. But there is another reason that Erica's life is so intense. While none of the explicit disasters which Erica endures are part of my personal experience, I have had many around me, family and friends, who have suffered similarly, sometimes tragically. Of course, both physical and psychological afflictions are part of life, but for Erica, these accrue mercilessly. Also, for my imperfect life, I have atonement due; this novel is a way to confront, if not resolve, the past, at least for myself. As Milo asserts, art may assume this essential function.

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Erica is presented as highly intelligent and motivated, if volatile, with a Literature and Classics background in addition to her medical degrees and acquired language abilities in Latin, French and German. (Her studies are quite a bit broader than my own.) My writing began with Erica. What emerged over the first year of my work were many “Mother-Wife” and “Mary-Never” entries. While the overall plot structure was planned early on, many details developed as her blog was conceived. It was a pleasure to become acquainted with Erica.

 

“Is Nathan Milo inspired by any actual person?”

 

No, really not. Milo is a unique, created individual, with a specific, chosen path. We meet him when he is already a damaged soul. His philosophy is partly revealed by Erica in her blog entries and her rummaging through Milo’s records, but more fully in his self-congratulatory speech on tour. In literature, stories, films, villains are often portrayed as innately evil or corrupted in childhood. It was my ambition to portray someone quite different, an exceptional man, benevolent and rational until... I do not consider Milo to have a “tragic flaw;” he does however make a single critical decision which corrupts his life and endangers many around him. In his pain, Milo has chosen. In his progress, he destroys with words alone. Milo is a psychiatrist, a medical doctor trained in psychology. He is a tragic figure, a single being, not an archetype or symbol.

(Note: I believe that cognitive therapy can be very useful for most life issues, but serious psychopathologies may require medical intervention.)

All of the characters in this novel are creations, often idealizations. I’d be thrilled to meet any of them in person… except perhaps Milo.​

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“Where are we when the drama ends?”

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I think it accurate to say that any two readers may, quite appropriately, have different views of the moral choices made by the central characters. There is truth to be discovered, but in Because of His Heart, you, the reader, are not driven to one unified view. The characters themselves are struggling, rarely in accord. I also believe that close or repeat reading may lead you to reconsider previous conclusions. I conceived the characters as complex, believable people, about whom we have significant but incomplete information. Like Constable Deuter, we want to understand, but there are half-truths and evasions to be considered, and always more to discover.

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“Why is it so long?”

 

Being a musician means many hours of practice and rehearsal, in addition to concerts, touring and recordings, so until my retirement from active performance in 2021, my writing time was limited. However, I accumulated a large amount of material over several years but was only able to bring it all together more recently. Within the novel there are several long chapters, really scenes, that take place in "real-time,” that is, casual reading may give the sense that the action/dialogue/thoughts are occurring in conscious time.

 

Originally, Erica’s Song (retitled, Because of His Heart) was longer, 210,00 words, which no traditional agent or publisher would accept. I realized that I could delete scenes that did not sufficiently advance the plot or characterization, so I cut about 30,000 words. For example, Dale Jeffers’ visit with Milo exists as an extended chapter, and John Deuter’s summary at the end included more details and observations. These may be of value in themselves, but are not essential. I plan to offer some omitted scenes in the future to anyone interested. They will appear on this site, open access.​

 

Ideologies:

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I have intentionally avoided most religious and political issues of the day. Ideologies exist for most of us, but are often secondary motivators in our lives, and rightly so. Finding a personal philosophy that brings peace and aids productivity is what motivates the lives of most of my characters. But there are always choices. Errors of knowledge and errors driven by emotion are ever present.

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Ambiguity in motivation and voice and unreliable narratives are central to my characters and their actions. Miscommunication, fantasy, and the blending of strong emotions lead to increasing conflict and tragic consequences. Nathan Milo is the most specific in his averred philosophy. His concurrent dedication to and abandonment of reason is his tragedy. Erica reveals herself in every word she writes and speaks, with a spirituality that few pastors would embrace.

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​​​Allusions:

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Allusions to fiction, poetry, the Bible, and even musical references, old and new, can offer an opportunity to broaden and clarify scenes and emotions. In Because of His Heart, I use many allusions, sometimes specific borrowings, in quotation marks, but most often just incomplete or reshaped phrases which the reader may recognize. For me, allusions are mostly fun, and because my experience in literature and art will be different from any one reader, there will be varying degrees of recognition. (A familiar sounding word grouping, phrase or image, if searched online, will likely yield a result.) If you are curious about a reference, just ask, I’ll answer if I can.

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September 25, 2025

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Unpleasant Words and Sex Scenes

 

Many years ago I was on tour with The New York City Opera, in the orchestra, of course. Towards the end of our tour we had a performance in Pasadena, California. The singers were informed that a few changes had to be made at the last minute. Certain words could not be used, or sung, in that community. Dutifully, our excellent cast made the necessary adjustments and the performance went well. We hardly noticed. As the publishing industry goes today, the technology for adjusting text to suit individual segments of society is not developed, though certainly possible---but of course, few authors would agree to any such compromise.

 

So, why use such words or situations? Strong language is everywhere, part of our culture. All around us we hear expressions of anger, frustration, fear. “Taking the lord’s name in vain,” was once disapproved in polite company, and “damning” a person was considered very serious. Today, the use of  foul expressions is commonplace. Imagine a Tarantino film without a hundred “f bombs.” Our children have grown to accept such language, sadly. (My own short-fused explosions, I’m ashamed to admit, are not always private, even in an enclosed automobile.) Because of His Heart is not filled with these expressions, but my recreation of our world requires them on occasion. 

I have tabulated their use. In this novel of 180,000 words, there are instances of:
F word-- 3
S word-- 2
P word-- 1

“Jesus” (casual use, not in anger)-- 25 
“Damn” and related phrases-- 51
There are a few other mildly rude expressions. Honestly, spare use gives such expressions more power and meaning.

 

My father once told me a story, remembered from his childhood in North Platte, Nebraska (dating from the 1930’s). There was a certain local fellow, pleasant enough in demeanor, respectful to the ladies, but seemingly incapable of delivering a sentence without endless obscenities. As my dad described it, the locals would sometimes gather within range just to hear the creative explosion of profanity which this fellow would deliver, for minutes on end. Mind you, he wasn’t angry, cursing the world and all humanity, he simply railed on, calmly employing all the basic oaths, of both Anglo-Saxon and Latin origin, with astonishing technique. I can imagine that it was a fascinating display for all but the most “High-Toned old Christian Woman.”

 

There is a scene in Because of His Heart where mild-mannered John Deuter has a private session in his office, expressing himself in a similar manner. However, when I considered reproducing my father’s memory of that expressive gentleman, I realized that it wouldn’t work. Deuter is truly upset, so his utterances would be heard as obscene, not a creative act, so I left most of his expressive monologue to the reader’s imagination.

 

Sex scenes, vividly portrayed, are rarely essential in fiction, even in Romance novels. In Because of His Heart, there are two explicit sex scenes, and one implied event. These are necessary because the initial conflict and the later, more serious discord and tension in the novel arise from these scenes. I do not dwell on the acts, but minimal description is part of the drama. The second such scene has many pages of stream-of-consciousness leading to the sex act, itself only two short paragraphs. While these scenes are unpleasant to contemplate, I hope that readers find the narrative tasteful.

 

There are other events which some readers may find distressing. Because of His Heart deals with serious, sometimes disturbing themes, and the main character, Erica Seames, faces many painful challenges in her progress. I am uncomfortable with some of her misfortunes myself, but observe that only in surviving her disasters does Erica become a whole, unified being.

 

Stephen A Marvin

Updated, October 22, 2025